Dear Fake Friend
I always thought friendship lasts forever. I always thought friends are the essence of life. I truly believed that friends have your back through thick and thin. I thought friends are always elated by your successes. Until you… You changed my perspective in all the ways it could possibly be changed. For the worse…
It took a lot in me to pen down my feelings today. I have got a lot to say but I know, I will never be able to say it to you in person. So here I am, writing this letter. Maybe at the end of the day, it wouldn’t matter. You wouldn’t even read this letter. But at least it will give me peace of mind, knowing, I said what I wanted to. My heart will be released of the burden of these unsaid confessions.
However, on the off chance that you are reading this, there are a few things you should know. I don’t regret meeting you or spending those 5 years of my life with you. You know why? Because once upon a time, you were exactly what I needed. You always knew what to say to me at any point of time. Being my best friend, you knew me inside out. All those memories which we made, the insane amount of fun we had, remember it all? You were the Kamli to my Sanju. We always had each other’s back, didn’t we? I trusted you with my life. But I guess it wasn’t enough. Because in the end, you did betray me and break my trust. Like all good things, our friendship came to an end too.
Yes, when you broke my trust and left me to fend for myself, I was crestfallen. I am not going to pretend that I had it easy. Because I didn’t! You hurt me and I could never forgive you for that. I gave you everything, but you betrayed me like I was just another face in the crowd. You left me shattered, both emotionally and mentally, expecting me to pick up my broken pieces and put them together. Sobbing hysterically on the tiled floors of my bathroom, I was half expecting you to come rushing through the door and hug me back to sanity! But alas, I was wrong again!
For a long time, I blamed myself. I tried to see things from your perspective. I made excuses on your behalf. Every night I laid in bed, wondering where it all went wrong and why I wasn’t good enough for you to stay. Maybe, just maybe if I did things a little differently, we would still be friends, right? Well, I would never know…
But you know, that was me 2 years back. I don’t blame myself anymore! Today, I have changed. I’ve finally accepted that in the book of my life, you were meant to be just a chapter, and not the protagonist. And that’s fine… It really is. I’ve started writing the next chapter. I’ve started moving on! I’ve got new friends, new acquaintances and a brand new group of people who love me and support me and who would do anything for me! Out of all the things, this is what I want you to know the most…
I am happy! There, I said it… Shocker, right? Well, you heard me. I am happy with the life I am leading at present. And it is all because of my squad. Yes, my dear, I found new people who see and appreciate my worth. They push me to my limits and help me wield my potential. They make me grow. All this is something, which you never did. And that is how I realized, I’ve finally found My Real Squad. They are the realest players on my team. They don’t just point out my mistakes, rather, they help me correct them. Yes, you broke my trust, I admit. But it was these dimwits who rebuilt it, from the scratch! I am not hung up on who and what we were.
Yes, there are times when I pass by a place we went to together and I get flashes of those buried memories. Yes, there are times when I miss you. But today, I can at least look you in the eye and say “You are not the one I want in my life anymore!” You were toxic for me, and I realized it too late. I was suffocating myself while trying to be your oxygen. Honey, love and friendship, it is a road that goes both ways. But in our case? It was a one-way street.
I deserved better. Way better…Yes, we had fun! Yes, once you mattered to me a lot. But that was all in the past. No, don’t get me wrong. I am not mad at you. Just disappointed that you, who once was so special to me, is now a mere stranger. But that’s life. It’s all about moving on and despite everything, I think I owe you a thanks.
Thanks for being a real life lesson for me. For teaching me the difference between true friends and sugar coated lies. You taught me that I can miss someone but not want them back in my life. Other than that, thank you for helping me venture out of your confines and explore the very beautiful world beyond. But above it all, thank you for making me strong. Your betrayal hurt me, but, ultimately, it made me stronger, both emotionally and physically. Thanks for teaching me how to depend on my own self and never to let any other person define my worth for me.
Today, I can firmly say, that all the hurt, pain, tears and everything I went through, was worth it! It made me who I am today, and I am so proud of my present self. Today, when someone asks me if I know you, a million thoughts would run through my mind, every moment we spent together, every laughter we shared, every tear we shed for each other, it will all come back to me. With a bittersweet smile on my face, I will confess, that yes, I used to know you during those good old days.
I end this letter on a positive note, wishing the best for you. You broke my heart, but made me grow wings. Maybe 10 years from now, you will see me soaring high. Because I am no longer rooted to the past… I have finally let go… You go your way, and I’ll go mine… I still want to see you eat, hun. Just not with me…